Article Collection

Time to get excited about using better words than “excited” in your writing

15 Nov, 2019 Marketing communication, Writing and layout

This article was originally published in 2015 and has been completely updated in 2020.

Fake news! Many press releases over-excitedly announce information that has no real news value – it is in effect fake news. No wonder journalists delete most releases.

PR staff are often under pressure to energize ordinary announcements and other information by hyping up the text to gain executive or client approval.

However, those staffers usually haven’t dug further to find any real news behind their breathless announcement, or have just gone through the motions to satisfy their bosses or the marketing department.

I found an amazing total of 436 press releases using the adjective “excited” in body copy and puff quotes from just 4 days (10-13 July 2018) of releases published in Cision’s PR Newswire. If I had also searched for “exciting,” the number would certainly have jumped a lot higher.

Saying “we’re excited” is a waste of time

From a news point of view, these announcements and quotes don’t achieve anything. They are clichéd, they are seldom true, and are self-serving. Readers want to know the WIIFM factor – “What’s In It For Me?” rather than some self-centered corporate waffle and jargon. Instead of telling readers how excited you are, why don’t you tell them something that makes them excited?

(Tips for writing for press releases are discussed in other articles I have written in my website.

Here’s a sample of shockers from the period 9-12 July, with my emphasis in italics. The full extracts are shown at the end of this article.

  • “We’re delighted to announce the arrival of Sheila Spinner as VP, Client Strategy! [I couldn’t resist including this headline from an advertising agency’s release, even though it used “delighted” rather than “excited,” complete with exclamation mark! “Excited” actually came in the lead para of the text in the announcement.
  • “The Town Dock is excited to announce the latest addition to their fully cleaned line of frozen calamari…”
  • “We’re excited to deepen our existing relationship with…”
  • “We are thrilled to be bringing Crunch Fitness to the Central Texas market and are excited to see the community embrace the low-cost, high-value offering,”
  • “We are excited to be able to secure the opportunity to explore such a world-class district…”
  • “We’re excited to announce the opening of our new Durham office…”

41 alternatives to the word “excited”

This list of alternatives to the word “excited” is based on a list of 50 words published by Laura Hale Brockway on her website. She loves wordplay. Not all of the words would suit excited announcements in media releases, but you can use them in other contexts as alternatives. Can you think of any more suitable words you could use?

If the list below doesn’t lead to a solution, you can consult online thesauruses such as thesaurus.com, the Merriam-Webster online thesaurus, the Collins Dictionary online thesaurus, or Lexico.com (formerly Oxford Dictionaries online thesaurus). Surely, a suitable, strong and energetic adjective will emerge for you to use from all this.

  1. aflame
  2. animated
  3. anxious
  4. ardent
  5. breathless
  6. delighted
  7. eager
  8. elated
  9. electrified
  10. enlivened
  11. energized
  12. enthusiastic
  13. exhilarated
  14. exuberant
  15. fervent
  16. fiery
  17. fired up
  18. frantic
  19. gladdened
  20. gratified
  21. heated
  22. impassioned
  23. inflamed
  24. intense
  25. invigorate
  26. keen
  27. keyed up
  28. lively
  29. overjoyed
  30. passionate
  31. pleased
  32. proud
  33. restless
  34. restive
  35. revitalized
  36. spirited
  37. stirred up
  38. thrilled
  39. vehement
  40. wholehearted
  41. wild

Review of ‘happy words’ by Christopher Penn

Coincidentally, Christopher Penn was also wondering about the extent of over-used terms of excitement, so he sampled 31,000 news releases published on Google News in 2019 and found 7 phrases are used frequently. The number of times each phrase was used out of the total news releases was:

  • Pleased to 10.3%
  • Excited to 9.7%
  • Proud to 7.5%
  • Thrilled to 4.1%
  • Honored or honored to (negligible amount)
  • Delighted to (negligible amount)
  • Happy to (negligible amount)

None of these terms proved to create more resulting media coverage than any of the other terms.

Penn observed that:

“When you see phrases repeated over and over again, it’s usually the result of either committee group-think or templates. In many public relations departments and agencies, often the people who are writing basic content like press releases are more junior in their careers, and they rely on pre-defined templates to do their work, something that looks like this:

– Opening boilerplate introducing industry-leading company

– Key point that company is pleased to announce

– Quote from CEO

– Information about product’s innovative, turn-key solution

– Quote or testimonial

– Contact info

It’s no surprise that an inoffensive phrase like “Company X is pleased to announce” makes it into so many press releases; I’d be willing to bet that it’s baked right into some of the document templates itself in the key announcement section. The downside of this lack of language diversity is obvious: releases that are boring, unengaging, and thus ignored.”

Penn maintains, and I agree, that such terms don’t come across as being genuine. I can’t imagine CEOs or senior spokespersons getting personally thrilled or excited by a new product. It is more likely that only the people who have worked on that particular project might get that level of emotional engagement. So, we think it would be a more genuine reflection to seek quotes from those who worked on the project such as the project manager, engineer or creative designer. They are more likely to speak in their own language, which will create more engaging and authentic content.

About the author Kim Harrison

Kim Harrison loves sharing actionable ideas and information about professional communication and business management. He has wide experience as a corporate affairs manager, consultant, author, lecturer, and CEO of a non-profit organization. Kim is a Fellow and former national board member of the Public Relations Institute of Australia, and he ran his State’s professional development program for 7 years, helping many practitioners to strengthen their communication skills. People from 115 countries benefit from the practical knowledge shared in his monthly newsletter and in the eBooks available from cuttingedgepr.com.

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