The words in most mission statements, copy in websites and marketing communication text is unimaginative and cliché ridden. A quick scan of such text and the media releases in PR Newswire will quickly confirm that vague puffery surrounds us. How can such text be improved?
A five-step process can improve promotional and marketing communication text:
Consider this actual sales text from the high-traffic website of a large company in the health sector (its real name is not used here):
“Led by one of the finest management teams in the industry, Tray-med has consistently demonstrated a keen understanding of the industry and a strong vision for its future. This vision translated into a concept of a superior system – of how patients should move smoothly through a logical healthcare system that offers highly technical, less-invasive, cost-effective procedures.”
The trouble is that most of this text is merely unverifiable hype. The company has provided no information that can be validated to prove its unique attributes. Many other websites and examples of marketing text are similar. All unsubstantiated text should be deleted. For instance, in what way is their system ‘superior’? What do they mean by ‘logical’ system? What are the advantages of being ‘less-invasive’, and so on.
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