Time to get excited about using better words than “excited” in your writing
Fake news! Many press releases over-excitedly announce information that has no real news value – it is in effect fake news. No wonder journalists delete most releases.
PR staff are often under pressure to energize ordinary announcements and other information by hyping up the text to gain executive or client approval.
However, those staffers usually haven’t dug further to find any real news behind their breathless announcement, or have just gone through the motions to satisfy their bosses or the marketing department.
I found an amazing total of 436 press releases using the adjective “excited” in body copy and puff quotes from just 4 days (10-13 July 2018) of releases published in Cision’s PR Newswire. If I had also searched for “exciting,” the number would certainly have jumped a lot higher.
Saying “we’re excited” is a waste of time
From a news point of view, these announcements and quotes don’t achieve anything. They are clichéd, they are seldom true, and are self-serving. Readers want to know the WIIFM factor – “What’s In It For Me?” rather than some self-centered corporate waffle and jargon. Instead of telling readers how excited you are, why don’t you tell them something that makes them excited?
(Tips for writing for press releases are discussed other articles I have written in my website.
Here’s a sample of shockers from the period 9-12 July, with my emphasis in italics. The full extracts are shown at the end of this article.
- We’re delighted to announce the arrival of Sheila Spinner as VP, Client Strategy! [I couldn’t resist including this headline from an advertising agency’s release, even though it used “delighted” rather than “excited,” complete with exclamation mark! “Excited” actually came in the lead para of the text in the announcement, as below.]
- “The Town Dock is excited to announce the latest addition to their fully cleaned line of frozen calamari…”
- “We’re excited to deepen our existing relationship with…”
- “We are thrilled to be bringing Crunch Fitness to the Central Texas market and are excited to see the community embrace the low-cost, high-value offering,”
- “We are excited to be able to secure the opportunity to explore such a world-class district…”
- “We’re excited to announce the opening of our new Durham office…” (UK web page headline)
41 alternatives to the word “excited”
This list of alternatives to the word “excited” is based on a list of 50 words published by Laura Hale Brockway on her website. She loves wordplay. Not all of the words would suit excited announcements in media releases, but you can use them in other contexts as alternatives. Can you think of any more suitable words you could use?
If the list below doesn’t lead to a solution, you can consult online thesauruses such as thesaurus.com, the Merriam-Webster online thesaurus, the Collins Dictionary online thesaurus, or the Oxford Dictionaries online thesaurus. Surely, a suitable, strong and energetic adjective will emerge for you to use from all this.
- fired up
- keyed up
- stirred up
Many excited announcements
A small sample of the 11,018 results (!) that included the term “excited”on PR Newswire recently is shown below. PR people have been advised for years to avoid this type of writing, but they still persist with this unimaginative approach that has no news value except to be mocked :
- Jul 12, 2018, 06:00 ET Calling All Sleepers: Mattress Firm is Hiring an Intern to Be In-House Bed Tester
…dreams come true with the newly-created Snoozetern position. Although sleeping is part of the job, it’s not all the position offers. “We are excited to hire our first ever Snoozetern,” said Scott Thaler, chief marketing officer.
- Jul 10, 2018, 08:01 ET The Town Dock Introduces New California Calamari Line
The Town Dock is excited to announce the latest addition to their fully cleaned line of frozen calamari,…
- Jul 09, 2018, 16:00 ET We’re delighted to announce the arrival of Sheila Spinner as VP, Client Strategy!
Congratulations to Sheila on her new role at Bayard and for her exemplary work in the industry to date. We are excited to see what comes next.
- Jul 10, 2018, 11:00 ET Procore and Sage Announce Partnership to Deepen Integration Between Project Management and Accounting Systems to Optimize Business Management for Construction
“We’re excited to deepen our existing relationship with Procore, and believe that aligning our efforts to better serve the construction industry will allow us to…”
- Jul 10, 2018, 11:00 ET Crunch Fitness Announces Its Newest Location In Round Rock, Texas
“We are thrilled to be bringing Crunch Fitness to the Central Texas market and are excited to see the community embrace the low-cost, high-value offering,” said Oldham.
- Jul 10, 2018, 10:36 ET BlueBird Battery Metals to Increase its Australian Property Portfolio with Acquisition of 726 km2 of Exploration Licenses in the Broken Hill Camp, New South Wales, Australia…
“We are excited to be able to secure the opportunity to explore such a world-class district, and the orginal [sic] area that launched BHP Billiton…”
- Jul 10, 2018, 10:15 ET NuMedii Announces Strategic Research Collaboration with Two Leading Academic Research Institutions Utilizing Single-Cell Sequencing to Identify Precision Therapeutics for IPF…
“…therapies for orphan diseases like IPF,” said Gini Deshpande, Ph.D., chief executive officer, NuMedii, Inc. “We are excited to partner with two of the world’s leading experts and their research teams at these world-class institutions to help further advance our work in this…”